Processing the Grief
Friends, I ask that you continue to pray for me, as I grieve the loss of my dad and learn to live in the present. I do not see the why, but am learning to trust the Who. Thanks. Rachel
Some verses that minister to my broken heart:
•Psalm 34:17-18 The righteous cry, and Jehovah hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. Jehovah is near to the broken-hearted; and saves those who are of a contrite spirit.
•Psalm 147:3 He heals the broken-hearted, and binds up their wounds.
•Psalm 30:5 …Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.
•Isaiah 43:19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall sprout; shall you not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.
•2 Corinthians 1:4 He comforts us in all our trouble, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in every trouble, through the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
•Lamentations 3:24-26 Jehovah is my portion [He is enough—all I should desire and hope for], says my soul; therefore I will hope in Him. Jehovah is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should hope for the salvation of Jehovah, even in silence.
•Psalm 57:1 Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me; for my soul trusts in You; yes, in the shadow of Your wings I will make my hiding-place, until these great troubles pass by.
•Psalm 62:5-8 My soul, be silent only to God; for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my strong tower; I shall not be shaken. In God is my salvation and my glory; the rock of my strength; my hiding-place is in God. Trust in Him at all times; [Rachel], pour out your heart before Him; God is your hiding-place. Selah.
“The Weaver”
My life is but a weaving
Between my Lord and me.
I cannot choose the colors
He worketh steadily.
Oftimes He weaveth sorrow,
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I, the underside.
Not till the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Shall God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful
In the Weaver’s skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.
—Author unknown
Updates, poems, and stories of Rachel's missionary journey.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Iquitos
We just got back from a river trip, 3 days to a few communities, with an American team. In the midst of pain (the 3 month anniversary of my dad´s death, and my uncle Jim´s funeral), I was able to minister in the Lord´s strength. I didn´t really want to translate or work with the children, but the team prayed for me, and I did really well, and that gave me a little taste of joy.
I am settling into the apartment; it´s quieter and spacious and I´m enjoying it. My heart is still heavy, but I trust that God is slowly healing me. My prayer is that I can be in control of my emotions, even in the midst of pain and trials. Josue has been a blessing to me. We have fun together, but this year has been trying on our relationship.
Keep praying. Love you.
We just got back from a river trip, 3 days to a few communities, with an American team. In the midst of pain (the 3 month anniversary of my dad´s death, and my uncle Jim´s funeral), I was able to minister in the Lord´s strength. I didn´t really want to translate or work with the children, but the team prayed for me, and I did really well, and that gave me a little taste of joy.
I am settling into the apartment; it´s quieter and spacious and I´m enjoying it. My heart is still heavy, but I trust that God is slowly healing me. My prayer is that I can be in control of my emotions, even in the midst of pain and trials. Josue has been a blessing to me. We have fun together, but this year has been trying on our relationship.
Keep praying. Love you.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Happy New Year 2008!
It's been a busy week. I have been sick. I helped with the Christmas meal. I taught the Christmas story to the 3 children's clubs. And I moved into my apartment. I’ve been cleaning and organizing. It’s nice to have space. The dust and lack of sleep this past week made me a little sick (sore throat), so pray that the Lord heals my body, because January 2-6, my team is going on a river trip to minister to 3 communities with an American mission group. I pray God’s blessing on you. Have a Happy New Year! Love in Christ, Rachel
PS. Thanks to those who have mailed me cards and little packages to my Post Office Box. It means the world to me--Josue likes to go to check the PO for me, and is happy when he gets something in the mail!
It's been a busy week. I have been sick. I helped with the Christmas meal. I taught the Christmas story to the 3 children's clubs. And I moved into my apartment. I’ve been cleaning and organizing. It’s nice to have space. The dust and lack of sleep this past week made me a little sick (sore throat), so pray that the Lord heals my body, because January 2-6, my team is going on a river trip to minister to 3 communities with an American mission group. I pray God’s blessing on you. Have a Happy New Year! Love in Christ, Rachel
PS. Thanks to those who have mailed me cards and little packages to my Post Office Box. It means the world to me--Josue likes to go to check the PO for me, and is happy when he gets something in the mail!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Happy New Year 2008!
I hope you had a Merry Chrismas. I spent it well--although I was sick and in the hospital the weekend before, but God gave me strength to teach at the three children´s clubs the Story of Christmas--it went really well, we have about 150. Thanks for the extra support you sent to help with presents and food. I am feeling better. I have moved into an apartment with a living room, bath, kitchen, bedroom, and patio. I bought a bed (I didn´t own one before). It feels good to be more settled and organized. My dad´s brother, who had kidney cancer, died Christmas Eve, so this has been a difficult year altogether. I look forward to the New Year. I am going on a river trip to do mission work January 2-6 with my team. Thanks for continued prayers for my health, heart, work, and relationship with Josue, who is fine--busy, and a big support to me. Blessings.
I hope you had a Merry Chrismas. I spent it well--although I was sick and in the hospital the weekend before, but God gave me strength to teach at the three children´s clubs the Story of Christmas--it went really well, we have about 150. Thanks for the extra support you sent to help with presents and food. I am feeling better. I have moved into an apartment with a living room, bath, kitchen, bedroom, and patio. I bought a bed (I didn´t own one before). It feels good to be more settled and organized. My dad´s brother, who had kidney cancer, died Christmas Eve, so this has been a difficult year altogether. I look forward to the New Year. I am going on a river trip to do mission work January 2-6 with my team. Thanks for continued prayers for my health, heart, work, and relationship with Josue, who is fine--busy, and a big support to me. Blessings.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Merry Christmas 2007!
God is never in a hurry but spends years of preparation with those He expects to greatly use.
Just as God spent many years preparing the world for Jesus’ arrival, and just as He is preparing His children for our eternal Home, He continues to prepare me for His purposes. It’s hard to remember that His highest purpose for me is to know Him and obey Him, not to save souls—although that is my calling and the desire of my heart. I know He is doing a good work in me, and I will hold on to hope.
It has been a sad year for me, overall, due to my dad’s battle with cancer and death. I am returning slowly into my work with the children’s ministry. To have a routine for the next year, I am in the process of getting a job (and a work visa) to teach English part-time at a private institute. Another change I’m taking to help me emotionally is to move to a small apartment close to the institute and to Josué’s house. It is in a nicer, quieter part of town. It has its own entrance (helpful in storing the motorcycle). For safety, the windows and doors are barred and there is a night guard. And I’ll have more space: living room (to teach English classes), kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, and back patio (to hang a hammock and stargaze at night!). I will have telephone and Internet access, which will help me connect more to my friends and family in the States. If I get the job, it will pay the extra $100 per month I’m spending on the apartment that is not covered by my present budget.
Meanwhile, Josué and I along with our team are ministering weekly with the children’s clubs. On December 22, 23, and 24, we will host a party for each of our three clubs (more than 100 children)—the Christmas story; a Christian children’s dance group (Vasti, Josué’s niece, is in that group); songs; games; a special meal of chicken, bread, and hot chocolate; and gifts for each kid.
I will be celebrating Christmas with Josué’s family, which will be a turkey meal with a few shared gifts. I ask for prayer for my emotions and health, and for wisdom in Josué’s and my decisions. God bless you. Thank you for your monthly support, emails, and prayers.
Have a blessed Christmas! Love in Christ, Rachel :)
“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart.
And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” –Jesus (John 14:27)
God is never in a hurry but spends years of preparation with those He expects to greatly use.
Just as God spent many years preparing the world for Jesus’ arrival, and just as He is preparing His children for our eternal Home, He continues to prepare me for His purposes. It’s hard to remember that His highest purpose for me is to know Him and obey Him, not to save souls—although that is my calling and the desire of my heart. I know He is doing a good work in me, and I will hold on to hope.
It has been a sad year for me, overall, due to my dad’s battle with cancer and death. I am returning slowly into my work with the children’s ministry. To have a routine for the next year, I am in the process of getting a job (and a work visa) to teach English part-time at a private institute. Another change I’m taking to help me emotionally is to move to a small apartment close to the institute and to Josué’s house. It is in a nicer, quieter part of town. It has its own entrance (helpful in storing the motorcycle). For safety, the windows and doors are barred and there is a night guard. And I’ll have more space: living room (to teach English classes), kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, and back patio (to hang a hammock and stargaze at night!). I will have telephone and Internet access, which will help me connect more to my friends and family in the States. If I get the job, it will pay the extra $100 per month I’m spending on the apartment that is not covered by my present budget.
Meanwhile, Josué and I along with our team are ministering weekly with the children’s clubs. On December 22, 23, and 24, we will host a party for each of our three clubs (more than 100 children)—the Christmas story; a Christian children’s dance group (Vasti, Josué’s niece, is in that group); songs; games; a special meal of chicken, bread, and hot chocolate; and gifts for each kid.
I will be celebrating Christmas with Josué’s family, which will be a turkey meal with a few shared gifts. I ask for prayer for my emotions and health, and for wisdom in Josué’s and my decisions. God bless you. Thank you for your monthly support, emails, and prayers.
Have a blessed Christmas! Love in Christ, Rachel :)
“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart.
And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” –Jesus (John 14:27)
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Hope
Death is a birthing canal into a greater part of the same life. Truly as a baby exits the womb. The baby is the same person before and after but living in two distinct worlds. We all die. And we all live forever. Can a man shorten his days? They are in God’s hands. One must be hopeless to take his life. With even a spark of hope, one lives. Each of us has the Spirit of God breathed into us. It’s what makes us different from animals. The greatest joy is assurance of eternity from the day of salvation. Even in my despair concerning the death of my daddy, whom I miss so much, I believe. I believe in God, in His love, in His control, in Heaven. I believe my daddy is there with God. I believe I have a purpose. I believe I have been chosen as His daughter. I believe I have been called to serve Him all the days of my life. Today, 2 months after the death of my daddy, I mourn, I weep, I grieve from the deepest part of my soul. But I am not without hope.
1 Thessalonians 4:13, “But we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, about those who have died, so that you may not grieve like other people who have no hope.”
Prayer Requests:
a new apartment where I can get better rest
my relationship with Josue
health (feeling a little sick: stomach, back)
safety (in house, on motorcycle)
Christmas ministry with the kids (additional money to provide food and gifts)
Death is a birthing canal into a greater part of the same life. Truly as a baby exits the womb. The baby is the same person before and after but living in two distinct worlds. We all die. And we all live forever. Can a man shorten his days? They are in God’s hands. One must be hopeless to take his life. With even a spark of hope, one lives. Each of us has the Spirit of God breathed into us. It’s what makes us different from animals. The greatest joy is assurance of eternity from the day of salvation. Even in my despair concerning the death of my daddy, whom I miss so much, I believe. I believe in God, in His love, in His control, in Heaven. I believe my daddy is there with God. I believe I have a purpose. I believe I have been chosen as His daughter. I believe I have been called to serve Him all the days of my life. Today, 2 months after the death of my daddy, I mourn, I weep, I grieve from the deepest part of my soul. But I am not without hope.
1 Thessalonians 4:13, “But we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, about those who have died, so that you may not grieve like other people who have no hope.”
Prayer Requests:
a new apartment where I can get better rest
my relationship with Josue
health (feeling a little sick: stomach, back)
safety (in house, on motorcycle)
Christmas ministry with the kids (additional money to provide food and gifts)
Friday, November 30, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
My Citizenship is in Heaven (Phil. 3:20)
O Lord I live here as a fish in a vessel of water, only enough to keep me alive, but in heaven I shall swim in the ocean. (A Puritan prayer)
As I live more in another country which calls me, I realize that my citizenship, my heart, is not completely at home here; rather another country, the heavenly one, is calling me. I am a spiritual being having a physical experience. Now after experiencing my dad's illness and death, and reading a few books on Heaven, I understand a little better what it means to store treasures in Heaven, for where my treasure is there my heart is (Mat. 6:21).
O Lord I live here as a fish in a vessel of water, only enough to keep me alive, but in heaven I shall swim in the ocean. (A Puritan prayer)
As I live more in another country which calls me, I realize that my citizenship, my heart, is not completely at home here; rather another country, the heavenly one, is calling me. I am a spiritual being having a physical experience. Now after experiencing my dad's illness and death, and reading a few books on Heaven, I understand a little better what it means to store treasures in Heaven, for where my treasure is there my heart is (Mat. 6:21).
Monday, October 15, 2007
Louisville, KY
Where do I start? I spent 6 weeks with my dad here at home, before returning to minister in Iquitos and a nearby community "Samito" for three weeks. Then the call came to come home as my dad was really bad. He went to dance with the angels a week later. I have been in shock, trying to understand my world without my dad. It has been a traumatic year, but "God is with us." May He receive glory and may we see His face ever nearer.
Where do I start? I spent 6 weeks with my dad here at home, before returning to minister in Iquitos and a nearby community "Samito" for three weeks. Then the call came to come home as my dad was really bad. He went to dance with the angels a week later. I have been in shock, trying to understand my world without my dad. It has been a traumatic year, but "God is with us." May He receive glory and may we see His face ever nearer.
Heaven Near
Rachel C. Deal
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Norton Suburban Hospital, room 512, cancer ward
I can’t believe your time has come
That it has come so soon
I watch you and I can’t do anything to help
In this hospital room
Life doesn’t seem to be very fair
It’s hard to let you go
I selfishly want to keep you here
So your wisdom can help me on
This is a valley with shadows of death
Shadows that will soon pass
Light—so real—will fill you up
And guide you to a place of rest
You are brave and have fought so well
I don’t know how you’ve coped
Although you knew you had few days left
You’ve let us focus on hope
I love you so much and I’ll miss you greatly
But I don’t want you to be in pain
Eternity is at hand
My loss is heaven’s gain
I grieve that we won’t have more time together
I don’t understand God’s ways
But I do believe that in your life and death
God’s receiving glory and praise
Because I know you love the Lord
I have nothing to fear
It’s as you said in these last days:
Heaven Near
"Cielo Cerca"
Domingo, 30 Septiembre, 2007
Hospital de cáncer, cuarto 512
No puedo creer que tu tiempo haya llegado
Que haya llegado tan rápido
Te miro y no puedo hacer nada para ayudar
En este cuarto de hospital
La vida no se parece ser justa
Es difícil soltarte
Egoístamente deseo que te quedes aquí
Para darme más sabiduría
Esto es un valle con sombra de muerte
Sombras que pronto desaparecerán
Luz—tan verdadero—te llenará
Y te guiará a un lugar de descanso
Eres valiente y has luchado muy bien
No se como lo has hecho
Aunque sabias que tenías pocos días de vivir
Nos dejaste enfocarnos en esperanza
Te amo muchísimo y te faltaré un montón
Pero no quiero que sufras
La eternidad esta cerca
Mi perdida es la ganancia del cielo
Me aflijo que no tendremos más tiempo juntos
No entiendo a Dios
Pero si creo que en tu vida y muerte
Dios esta recibiendo la gloria y alabanza
Porque sé que amas al Señor
No tengo nada temer
Es como dijiste en estos últimos días:
“Cielo cerca”
Rachel C. Deal
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Norton Suburban Hospital, room 512, cancer ward
I can’t believe your time has come
That it has come so soon
I watch you and I can’t do anything to help
In this hospital room
Life doesn’t seem to be very fair
It’s hard to let you go
I selfishly want to keep you here
So your wisdom can help me on
This is a valley with shadows of death
Shadows that will soon pass
Light—so real—will fill you up
And guide you to a place of rest
You are brave and have fought so well
I don’t know how you’ve coped
Although you knew you had few days left
You’ve let us focus on hope
I love you so much and I’ll miss you greatly
But I don’t want you to be in pain
Eternity is at hand
My loss is heaven’s gain
I grieve that we won’t have more time together
I don’t understand God’s ways
But I do believe that in your life and death
God’s receiving glory and praise
Because I know you love the Lord
I have nothing to fear
It’s as you said in these last days:
Heaven Near
"Cielo Cerca"
Domingo, 30 Septiembre, 2007
Hospital de cáncer, cuarto 512
No puedo creer que tu tiempo haya llegado
Que haya llegado tan rápido
Te miro y no puedo hacer nada para ayudar
En este cuarto de hospital
La vida no se parece ser justa
Es difícil soltarte
Egoístamente deseo que te quedes aquí
Para darme más sabiduría
Esto es un valle con sombra de muerte
Sombras que pronto desaparecerán
Luz—tan verdadero—te llenará
Y te guiará a un lugar de descanso
Eres valiente y has luchado muy bien
No se como lo has hecho
Aunque sabias que tenías pocos días de vivir
Nos dejaste enfocarnos en esperanza
Te amo muchísimo y te faltaré un montón
Pero no quiero que sufras
La eternidad esta cerca
Mi perdida es la ganancia del cielo
Me aflijo que no tendremos más tiempo juntos
No entiendo a Dios
Pero si creo que en tu vida y muerte
Dios esta recibiendo la gloria y alabanza
Porque sé que amas al Señor
No tengo nada temer
Es como dijiste en estos últimos días:
“Cielo cerca”
My Daddy
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow
of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me.
Jesus came to take my daddy home last night at 6:30 PM ( Thursday, October 4, 2007 ). Denise, Angie, and I had the privilege of experiencing the sacred moment of his last peaceful breaths on earth. As we wept, Denise read him a love letter, and I read Psalm 23. Then he was welcomed home by the angels and those who have gone before him. As much as we will miss him and long for his wisdom, humor, and presence, it is a relief to know that he is not suffering anymore, that he feels no pain or sorrow, and that to him it will seem like minutes when he is meeting us with the angels when our own appointed time comes. Our prayers were answered and he is completely and forever healed.
The obituary, along with sympathy expressions, will be in the Sunday paper:
Visitation: Monday, October 8, 2-8 PM at Highlands Funeral Home, Taylorsville Road and Dutchmans Lane. Visitation: Tuesday, October 9, 11 AM- 1 PM , Southeast Christian Church. Followed by Service: 1 PM , Chapel
Disappointingly for both of us, Josué was denied a visa, as he does not have the financial stability to show that he is returning and we are not (yet) family—I did get a ring September 26, the day before I came home! But as He has been always, God is with me, as my Father and Lover.
This is a surreal, bittersweet time for me and my family. Thank you for your love, prayers, and kindness.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow
of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me.
Jesus came to take my daddy home last night at 6:30 PM ( Thursday, October 4, 2007 ). Denise, Angie, and I had the privilege of experiencing the sacred moment of his last peaceful breaths on earth. As we wept, Denise read him a love letter, and I read Psalm 23. Then he was welcomed home by the angels and those who have gone before him. As much as we will miss him and long for his wisdom, humor, and presence, it is a relief to know that he is not suffering anymore, that he feels no pain or sorrow, and that to him it will seem like minutes when he is meeting us with the angels when our own appointed time comes. Our prayers were answered and he is completely and forever healed.
The obituary, along with sympathy expressions, will be in the Sunday paper:
Visitation: Monday, October 8, 2-8 PM at Highlands Funeral Home, Taylorsville Road and Dutchmans Lane. Visitation: Tuesday, October 9, 11 AM- 1 PM , Southeast Christian Church. Followed by Service: 1 PM , Chapel
Disappointingly for both of us, Josué was denied a visa, as he does not have the financial stability to show that he is returning and we are not (yet) family—I did get a ring September 26, the day before I came home! But as He has been always, God is with me, as my Father and Lover.
This is a surreal, bittersweet time for me and my family. Thank you for your love, prayers, and kindness.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Saturday, August 04, 2007
I've been at home 2 weeks and am still not feeling well. I appreciate your prayers so that I can be a blessing here at home, as well as recover fully to be able to return next month to the Amazon. My dad took his first intravenous chemo and is doing better than expected, although still struggling with side effects. We appreciate your continued prayers for him, especially for the health of his left kidney and a lessening of nausea. Thanks.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
USA
I have been so busy (and then sick) that I haven't been able to update my blog. A lot happened during the week that I spent in Iquitos. I hung out with Josué and with friends (I made 2 new friends--girls with whom I work in the ministry). I also translated for an American team and taught a Bible story at the children's club--it's just what I love doing, and I was able to apply some things I learned at the Bogota school--I realized that Josué and I have very similar visions with the street kid ministry. Right before I left I ate something bad on the street and got salmanella and have been sick ever since. I got home Friday, July 20 and my dad went to the hospital Saturday. I couldn't go visit him as I was contagious (with fever and diarrhea), in fact I was in bed all last week, but now my dad is home and I am feeling better, although my stomach hurts and I am tired (probably the antibiotics). My dad is happy to be home, and resting. He starts the 2nd round of chemo Friday. Please pray for his healing (and mine!) and for our time together. I plan to return to Iquitos early September to work (translate) at a pastor's conference which will be held 10 hours away in a village in the Amazon River; we are expecting 40 pastors from 12 communities--some as much as a day away by boat. We will also be doing a children's event as well for several hundred kids. It should a powerful event. I will also be working with the children's clubs and teaching English. I will not have a fund raiser, but do ask that you consider supporting me monthly or one-time. I do have a short wish list:
gift certificate to Walmart for medicines, foods, and clothes
semi-nice light jacket/ pant suit (for airplane/ church)
rain jacket
RVR 1960/ KJV bilingual Bible
comfortable walking sandals (perhaps from a store like Quest)
Thank you! I hope to be able to see many of you while here, although my main purpose is to spend time with my dad at home. Thanks for understanding and supporting and praying for me.
I have been so busy (and then sick) that I haven't been able to update my blog. A lot happened during the week that I spent in Iquitos. I hung out with Josué and with friends (I made 2 new friends--girls with whom I work in the ministry). I also translated for an American team and taught a Bible story at the children's club--it's just what I love doing, and I was able to apply some things I learned at the Bogota school--I realized that Josué and I have very similar visions with the street kid ministry. Right before I left I ate something bad on the street and got salmanella and have been sick ever since. I got home Friday, July 20 and my dad went to the hospital Saturday. I couldn't go visit him as I was contagious (with fever and diarrhea), in fact I was in bed all last week, but now my dad is home and I am feeling better, although my stomach hurts and I am tired (probably the antibiotics). My dad is happy to be home, and resting. He starts the 2nd round of chemo Friday. Please pray for his healing (and mine!) and for our time together. I plan to return to Iquitos early September to work (translate) at a pastor's conference which will be held 10 hours away in a village in the Amazon River; we are expecting 40 pastors from 12 communities--some as much as a day away by boat. We will also be doing a children's event as well for several hundred kids. It should a powerful event. I will also be working with the children's clubs and teaching English. I will not have a fund raiser, but do ask that you consider supporting me monthly or one-time. I do have a short wish list:
gift certificate to Walmart for medicines, foods, and clothes
semi-nice light jacket/ pant suit (for airplane/ church)
rain jacket
RVR 1960/ KJV bilingual Bible
comfortable walking sandals (perhaps from a store like Quest)
Thank you! I hope to be able to see many of you while here, although my main purpose is to spend time with my dad at home. Thanks for understanding and supporting and praying for me.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Graduation--I made it!!!! Pictures have been updated--from throughout the school, the month practice, and my graduation. I am so happy to be finished and to have learned a lot about how to minister to children at risk. It was very challenging and I discovered that I still need to learn more about working in a team; especially with other cultures. However I also discovered that I have grown in responses to conflict, that I definately have a gift in working with children, and that my ministry is teaching children to know God more and experience inner healing from past hurts. One life goal is to pray and intercede for transformation in the lives of those with whom I work, fighting in the spiritual realm, and to be faithful in my personal time with the Lord. This will give me strength and wisdom to teach and minister to others. Thanks for your prayers and support during these past four months. I will be in Peru next week to update further.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
George Müller: Man of Faith and Miracles
By Basil Miller
Advice to strengthen one’s faith (p.58-59):
1. Read the Bible and meditate upon it. God will become known to you through prayer and meditation upon His Word.
2. Seek to maintain an upright heart and a good conscience.
3. Do not shrink from opportunities where your faith may be tried, and therefore through trials, be strengthened.
4. Let God work for you, when the hour of trail of your faith comes, and do not work to a deliverance of your own.
“Would the believer therefore have his faith strengthened, he must give God time to work.”
Avisos para esforzarse la fe:
1. Lee la Biblia y medita en ella. Dios está conocido a través de la oración y la meditación en su Palabra.
2. Busca mantener un corazón justo y una consciencia limpia.
3. No huyas de las oportunidades donde tu fe podría ser probada, y entonces a través de las pruebas, será esforazada.
4. Deja que Dios trabaje para ti, cuando la hora de la prueba de tu fe venga, y no trabajes para rescatarte solo.
“Que el creyente entonces tenga su fe esforzada, tendrá que dar a Dios tiempo para trabajar.”
By Basil Miller
Advice to strengthen one’s faith (p.58-59):
1. Read the Bible and meditate upon it. God will become known to you through prayer and meditation upon His Word.
2. Seek to maintain an upright heart and a good conscience.
3. Do not shrink from opportunities where your faith may be tried, and therefore through trials, be strengthened.
4. Let God work for you, when the hour of trail of your faith comes, and do not work to a deliverance of your own.
“Would the believer therefore have his faith strengthened, he must give God time to work.”
Avisos para esforzarse la fe:
1. Lee la Biblia y medita en ella. Dios está conocido a través de la oración y la meditación en su Palabra.
2. Busca mantener un corazón justo y una consciencia limpia.
3. No huyas de las oportunidades donde tu fe podría ser probada, y entonces a través de las pruebas, será esforazada.
4. Deja que Dios trabaje para ti, cuando la hora de la prueba de tu fe venga, y no trabajes para rescatarte solo.
“Que el creyente entonces tenga su fe esforzada, tendrá que dar a Dios tiempo para trabajar.”
June 8: The ambassador of Norway came today. We chatted briefly. He was nice. I spent most of the afternoon cooking and cleaning. Then I worked with some of the kids on a poetry activity. I read a little and spent some time reflecting on the past year—that has included many changes. I am feeling better being here and haven’t had problems with the program; I’m just not in agreement with it being a program. But I think the staff try, more than I realized. They are really hard with the kids, but if they aren’t, the kids get into trouble. They get into trouble anyway. I think there’s a balance between being firm and loving—you can’t really have one without the other—otherwise it’s abuse.
June 10: On Thursday morning the leaders left for a meeting and spent the night in order to go to the market, returning at 5pm Friday evening. Jessica and I, with the help of some others, were in charge of 23 former street kids!!! Many are responsible and helpful, leaving us to deal with a few real problem kids, who are stubborn, disrespectful, and disobedient. But the Lord has been kind and helped us to maintain control from morning to evening to complete the chores (I collaborated with cleaning the kitchen—it was so dirty—and homework (I helped with English), do a devotional, and play with the kids. It is not something a person can do every day and not get burned out quickly. It is not a job I would want, but I with my family and team could help children like this, along with their families if possible, but in a different manner—in love. Being firm is necessary, but yelling unkind words or commands only continues the pattern these kids received from childhood.
Right now, it’s 5:00pm, the kids are all playing nicely, no one is yelling or putting them down. We are dealing individually with the problem kids (two at present). It’s a big responsibility, but the cook and gardener (with their 3 kids) live here on the farm, and an older man is here helping out (he’s with my problem kid who has been rebellious all day). Jessica is helping her problem kid wash clothes. He just punched one of my kids, who has returned to playing soccer with the other kids. I am tired. We are going to celebrate the birthday of one of the girls, and after dinner, I’m going to put the little ones to bed and hopefully watch Shrek 3 with the older kids, and then fall into bed—exhausted. What an experience. I learned that in letting them play and let out their frustrations and not being so on top of them that they suffocate, loving them and being firm. Being in charge of the younger kids and the girls was a little better than Jessica’s house, as the boys didn’t listen to her at all. The staff has not been kind to us, and I rather enjoyed the time alone, but I didn’t sleep well, due to the extra responsibility. I cannot think it was the best decision, but last night, a staff came to help out. He went on a school field trip today, so Jessica and I could stay with five kids at the farm—we played ball, and swung, and I read and got a little sun. Jessica and I are extremely tired, and I’m just here to love and help the kids.
June 11: It has been a challenging week. I have had the opportunity to love, listen to, play with, pray with, and do poetry activities with the kids. I swung with a couple kids, prayed with one for a while last night, held one on my lap while we watched a movie today—the little things are big to them. However, the staff are very hard on the kids—this is a rehabilitation center, not a ministry or family. One kid ran away on Friday and there hasn’t been a lot of concern for him, although the staff looked around for him and I believe talked to the police today (Monday). I wanted to go to La Vega today to email, but it was a holiday and one staff wasn’t here, so I stayed. However, I felt sick in the afternoon and slept. I have a lot of physical comforts, bed, food, water, sunlight; I don’t even mind the cold water. But the way the institution is run makes me sad. I am learning some good things, and I enjoy working with the kids—they usually listen to me—I don’t yell. Occasionally I raise my voice, but very rarely. And if I say something, I carry it out—I don’t make empty threats. Today I cried, because of the yelling and constant correcting—it’s not done in love. I got yelled at by the cook for something a kid was doing, then Jessica comes crying because the staff at her house yelled at the kids for playing outside, when she told Jessica that they should play outside. She and the staff girl at my house have taken advantage of our presence and left, leaving us in charge—not really the point of our time here, but I’m sure they are tired. However after 3 months of school, and many stresses, this past week hasn’t been easy. I will truly be glad for this school to end. I have indeed learned what NOT to do! I trust God has led me here and continues to teach me more about Him—and to depend on Him completely. Thanks for praying for me (and Jessica) over these next two weeks—for health, patience, and sanity (with the staff more than with the kids—sadly)! Please keep in touch.
June 12: The prodigal boy came home today—brought by police. He was found staying in a hotel, they called the police when they heard the news report about him via radio. Since he came home, the tension has left and everyone is breathing easier. I played with the kids and had a more enjoyable afternoon. My stomach stopped hurting, and my headache diminished (it never completely goes away—the altitude really bothers me). I finished an interesting and sad book about street kids in Brasil called Asphalt Angels. It was a beautiful day. Several times today, the very staff girl that I prejudged that I would have problems with made jokes with me, talked to me, and included me—amazing! God taught me yet another lesson in listening and seeing deeper than outward appearances.
Tomorrow, June 13, I go to La Vega to the Internet café and to eat out with Jessica. I am tired—it’s once again 9pm and the alarm sounds way too early—at 5am. Goodnight!
I´ll be sending out photos soon.
June 10: On Thursday morning the leaders left for a meeting and spent the night in order to go to the market, returning at 5pm Friday evening. Jessica and I, with the help of some others, were in charge of 23 former street kids!!! Many are responsible and helpful, leaving us to deal with a few real problem kids, who are stubborn, disrespectful, and disobedient. But the Lord has been kind and helped us to maintain control from morning to evening to complete the chores (I collaborated with cleaning the kitchen—it was so dirty—and homework (I helped with English), do a devotional, and play with the kids. It is not something a person can do every day and not get burned out quickly. It is not a job I would want, but I with my family and team could help children like this, along with their families if possible, but in a different manner—in love. Being firm is necessary, but yelling unkind words or commands only continues the pattern these kids received from childhood.
Right now, it’s 5:00pm, the kids are all playing nicely, no one is yelling or putting them down. We are dealing individually with the problem kids (two at present). It’s a big responsibility, but the cook and gardener (with their 3 kids) live here on the farm, and an older man is here helping out (he’s with my problem kid who has been rebellious all day). Jessica is helping her problem kid wash clothes. He just punched one of my kids, who has returned to playing soccer with the other kids. I am tired. We are going to celebrate the birthday of one of the girls, and after dinner, I’m going to put the little ones to bed and hopefully watch Shrek 3 with the older kids, and then fall into bed—exhausted. What an experience. I learned that in letting them play and let out their frustrations and not being so on top of them that they suffocate, loving them and being firm. Being in charge of the younger kids and the girls was a little better than Jessica’s house, as the boys didn’t listen to her at all. The staff has not been kind to us, and I rather enjoyed the time alone, but I didn’t sleep well, due to the extra responsibility. I cannot think it was the best decision, but last night, a staff came to help out. He went on a school field trip today, so Jessica and I could stay with five kids at the farm—we played ball, and swung, and I read and got a little sun. Jessica and I are extremely tired, and I’m just here to love and help the kids.
June 11: It has been a challenging week. I have had the opportunity to love, listen to, play with, pray with, and do poetry activities with the kids. I swung with a couple kids, prayed with one for a while last night, held one on my lap while we watched a movie today—the little things are big to them. However, the staff are very hard on the kids—this is a rehabilitation center, not a ministry or family. One kid ran away on Friday and there hasn’t been a lot of concern for him, although the staff looked around for him and I believe talked to the police today (Monday). I wanted to go to La Vega today to email, but it was a holiday and one staff wasn’t here, so I stayed. However, I felt sick in the afternoon and slept. I have a lot of physical comforts, bed, food, water, sunlight; I don’t even mind the cold water. But the way the institution is run makes me sad. I am learning some good things, and I enjoy working with the kids—they usually listen to me—I don’t yell. Occasionally I raise my voice, but very rarely. And if I say something, I carry it out—I don’t make empty threats. Today I cried, because of the yelling and constant correcting—it’s not done in love. I got yelled at by the cook for something a kid was doing, then Jessica comes crying because the staff at her house yelled at the kids for playing outside, when she told Jessica that they should play outside. She and the staff girl at my house have taken advantage of our presence and left, leaving us in charge—not really the point of our time here, but I’m sure they are tired. However after 3 months of school, and many stresses, this past week hasn’t been easy. I will truly be glad for this school to end. I have indeed learned what NOT to do! I trust God has led me here and continues to teach me more about Him—and to depend on Him completely. Thanks for praying for me (and Jessica) over these next two weeks—for health, patience, and sanity (with the staff more than with the kids—sadly)! Please keep in touch.
June 12: The prodigal boy came home today—brought by police. He was found staying in a hotel, they called the police when they heard the news report about him via radio. Since he came home, the tension has left and everyone is breathing easier. I played with the kids and had a more enjoyable afternoon. My stomach stopped hurting, and my headache diminished (it never completely goes away—the altitude really bothers me). I finished an interesting and sad book about street kids in Brasil called Asphalt Angels. It was a beautiful day. Several times today, the very staff girl that I prejudged that I would have problems with made jokes with me, talked to me, and included me—amazing! God taught me yet another lesson in listening and seeing deeper than outward appearances.
Tomorrow, June 13, I go to La Vega to the Internet café and to eat out with Jessica. I am tired—it’s once again 9pm and the alarm sounds way too early—at 5am. Goodnight!
I´ll be sending out photos soon.
Monday, June 04, 2007
La Vega, one hour outside of Bogota
Pacto Belen Children’s Ministry
Saturday, June 02, 2007
I learned something about myself the last couple of days—I’m changing. Thursday night at 7pm, the director, who has been disrespectful especially to the foreigners since the beginning of the school, told me and Jessica that we were going to the ministry NOW. Jessica was upset but I kept my cool and calmly asked her for a couple hours so we could finish getting ready and so I could keep my call date with my dad. She said fine, but at 8pm said she hadn’t understood me. Well, I talked to my dad and then we left at 9pm in a taxi, arrived at 9:30 at another ministry, and left around 5:30am to La Vega, a town an hour outside of town, where we will be working in a children’s ministry for the month of June (until the 27th). It is beautiful here and we should get one day a week off to go to a nearby pool and Internet and eat out and rest. The lady in charge of our practicum told us we would be in a room together and not in the house with a staff that is immature and unchristian. Guess where I am? When we arrived, the director of the two houses told us we would be split up. Jessica could not handle being in this house with this staff girl, who is not here this weekend due to our complaint. So I am here. I told the director that our leader had promised to not put either of us here and I would try and if I couldn’t handle it, I would let her know. She said that’s fine. This is the house with the younger boys and the 4 girls, which is fine with me. On Friday upon arriving, I prayed with them, played with them, and helped them with chores. So for now I’m fine.
Today I realized that my call and work requires many sacrifices and death to the flesh. If I trust in God’s love for me and allow Him to love through others, He will complete things in me that would lack if I had chosen to not obey His call. Jesus Himself for a time left His comfortable country and chose a difficult life to bring love. God sent Him and He obeyed. And because of His obedience, many were touched and changed. God has called me to the same, to let Him love through me, so that 1) I will be complete and 2) others will be touched and changed. It is a life of sacrifice, but also of blessing. I am happy and know that in God’s love for me, He will give me the desires of my heart—in marriage, work, children, travel. I love Him and want to worship and serve Him, in this month, and for the rest of my life.
So I’m learning and growing. I’m thankful for the work that God is doing in me—what He has started and called me to, He will finish and give me the strength to do. Please pray for me over these next 3 weeks here at La Vega—for peace, patience, self-control, love, gentleness—hahaha—well, that I will walk in the fruit of the Spirit! And for rest and concentrated times with the Lord, to meditate on His transforming Word and to hear His voice in my heart. Thank you. Blessings!
The poem The Real World was inspired by a book I am reading called Nothing But a Thief, the Street and her Children, by Danielle Speakman. If you want to understand the life and needs of street children and really all of us, I highly encourage this book.
Pacto Belen Children’s Ministry
Saturday, June 02, 2007
I learned something about myself the last couple of days—I’m changing. Thursday night at 7pm, the director, who has been disrespectful especially to the foreigners since the beginning of the school, told me and Jessica that we were going to the ministry NOW. Jessica was upset but I kept my cool and calmly asked her for a couple hours so we could finish getting ready and so I could keep my call date with my dad. She said fine, but at 8pm said she hadn’t understood me. Well, I talked to my dad and then we left at 9pm in a taxi, arrived at 9:30 at another ministry, and left around 5:30am to La Vega, a town an hour outside of town, where we will be working in a children’s ministry for the month of June (until the 27th). It is beautiful here and we should get one day a week off to go to a nearby pool and Internet and eat out and rest. The lady in charge of our practicum told us we would be in a room together and not in the house with a staff that is immature and unchristian. Guess where I am? When we arrived, the director of the two houses told us we would be split up. Jessica could not handle being in this house with this staff girl, who is not here this weekend due to our complaint. So I am here. I told the director that our leader had promised to not put either of us here and I would try and if I couldn’t handle it, I would let her know. She said that’s fine. This is the house with the younger boys and the 4 girls, which is fine with me. On Friday upon arriving, I prayed with them, played with them, and helped them with chores. So for now I’m fine.
Today I realized that my call and work requires many sacrifices and death to the flesh. If I trust in God’s love for me and allow Him to love through others, He will complete things in me that would lack if I had chosen to not obey His call. Jesus Himself for a time left His comfortable country and chose a difficult life to bring love. God sent Him and He obeyed. And because of His obedience, many were touched and changed. God has called me to the same, to let Him love through me, so that 1) I will be complete and 2) others will be touched and changed. It is a life of sacrifice, but also of blessing. I am happy and know that in God’s love for me, He will give me the desires of my heart—in marriage, work, children, travel. I love Him and want to worship and serve Him, in this month, and for the rest of my life.
So I’m learning and growing. I’m thankful for the work that God is doing in me—what He has started and called me to, He will finish and give me the strength to do. Please pray for me over these next 3 weeks here at La Vega—for peace, patience, self-control, love, gentleness—hahaha—well, that I will walk in the fruit of the Spirit! And for rest and concentrated times with the Lord, to meditate on His transforming Word and to hear His voice in my heart. Thank you. Blessings!
The poem The Real World was inspired by a book I am reading called Nothing But a Thief, the Street and her Children, by Danielle Speakman. If you want to understand the life and needs of street children and really all of us, I highly encourage this book.
The Real World
By Rachel C. Deal
June 2, 2007
Where do I live?
Where do I sleep?
What do I eat?
What do I know?
That’s my world
Where do you live?
Where do you sleep?
What do you eat?
What do you know?
That’s your world
Pain and hunger
Tears and fear
Happiness and love
Desires and hope
That’s our world
Can I understand you?
Can I walk in your shoes?
Can I see your point of view?
I choose to leave my world and live in…
The Real World
El Mundo Real
¿Dónde vivo?
¿Dónde duermo?
¿Qué como?
¿Qué sé?
Esto es mi mundo
¿Dónde vives?
¿Dónde duermes?
¿Qué comes?
¿Qué sabes?
Esto es tu mundo
Dolores, hambre
Soledad, lagrimas
Felicidades, amor
Deseos, esperanza
Esto es nuestro mundo
¿Puedo entenderte?
¿Puedo caminar en tus zapatos?
¿Puedo ver tu punto de vista?
Elijo a salir de mi mundo para vivir en…
El Mundo Real
By Rachel C. Deal
June 2, 2007
Where do I live?
Where do I sleep?
What do I eat?
What do I know?
That’s my world
Where do you live?
Where do you sleep?
What do you eat?
What do you know?
That’s your world
Pain and hunger
Tears and fear
Happiness and love
Desires and hope
That’s our world
Can I understand you?
Can I walk in your shoes?
Can I see your point of view?
I choose to leave my world and live in…
The Real World
El Mundo Real
¿Dónde vivo?
¿Dónde duermo?
¿Qué como?
¿Qué sé?
Esto es mi mundo
¿Dónde vives?
¿Dónde duermes?
¿Qué comes?
¿Qué sabes?
Esto es tu mundo
Dolores, hambre
Soledad, lagrimas
Felicidades, amor
Deseos, esperanza
Esto es nuestro mundo
¿Puedo entenderte?
¿Puedo caminar en tus zapatos?
¿Puedo ver tu punto de vista?
Elijo a salir de mi mundo para vivir en…
El Mundo Real
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