June 8: The ambassador of Norway came today. We chatted briefly. He was nice. I spent most of the afternoon cooking and cleaning. Then I worked with some of the kids on a poetry activity. I read a little and spent some time reflecting on the past year—that has included many changes. I am feeling better being here and haven’t had problems with the program; I’m just not in agreement with it being a program. But I think the staff try, more than I realized. They are really hard with the kids, but if they aren’t, the kids get into trouble. They get into trouble anyway. I think there’s a balance between being firm and loving—you can’t really have one without the other—otherwise it’s abuse.


June 10: On Thursday morning the leaders left for a meeting and spent the night in order to go to the market, returning at 5pm Friday evening. Jessica and I, with the help of some others, were in charge of 23 former street kids!!! Many are responsible and helpful, leaving us to deal with a few real problem kids, who are stubborn, disrespectful, and disobedient. But the Lord has been kind and helped us to maintain control from morning to evening to complete the chores (I collaborated with cleaning the kitchen—it was so dirty—and homework (I helped with English), do a devotional, and play with the kids. It is not something a person can do every day and not get burned out quickly. It is not a job I would want, but I with my family and team could help children like this, along with their families if possible, but in a different manner—in love. Being firm is necessary, but yelling unkind words or commands only continues the pattern these kids received from childhood.

Right now, it’s 5:00pm, the kids are all playing nicely, no one is yelling or putting them down. We are dealing individually with the problem kids (two at present). It’s a big responsibility, but the cook and gardener (with their 3 kids) live here on the farm, and an older man is here helping out (he’s with my problem kid who has been rebellious all day). Jessica is helping her problem kid wash clothes. He just punched one of my kids, who has returned to playing soccer with the other kids. I am tired. We are going to celebrate the birthday of one of the girls, and after dinner, I’m going to put the little ones to bed and hopefully watch Shrek 3 with the older kids, and then fall into bed—exhausted. What an experience. I learned that in letting them play and let out their frustrations and not being so on top of them that they suffocate, loving them and being firm. Being in charge of the younger kids and the girls was a little better than Jessica’s house, as the boys didn’t listen to her at all. The staff has not been kind to us, and I rather enjoyed the time alone, but I didn’t sleep well, due to the extra responsibility. I cannot think it was the best decision, but last night, a staff came to help out. He went on a school field trip today, so Jessica and I could stay with five kids at the farm—we played ball, and swung, and I read and got a little sun. Jessica and I are extremely tired, and I’m just here to love and help the kids.

June 11: It has been a challenging week. I have had the opportunity to love, listen to, play with, pray with, and do poetry activities with the kids. I swung with a couple kids, prayed with one for a while last night, held one on my lap while we watched a movie today—the little things are big to them. However, the staff are very hard on the kids—this is a rehabilitation center, not a ministry or family. One kid ran away on Friday and there hasn’t been a lot of concern for him, although the staff looked around for him and I believe talked to the police today (Monday). I wanted to go to La Vega today to email, but it was a holiday and one staff wasn’t here, so I stayed. However, I felt sick in the afternoon and slept. I have a lot of physical comforts, bed, food, water, sunlight; I don’t even mind the cold water. But the way the institution is run makes me sad. I am learning some good things, and I enjoy working with the kids—they usually listen to me—I don’t yell. Occasionally I raise my voice, but very rarely. And if I say something, I carry it out—I don’t make empty threats. Today I cried, because of the yelling and constant correcting—it’s not done in love. I got yelled at by the cook for something a kid was doing, then Jessica comes crying because the staff at her house yelled at the kids for playing outside, when she told Jessica that they should play outside. She and the staff girl at my house have taken advantage of our presence and left, leaving us in charge—not really the point of our time here, but I’m sure they are tired. However after 3 months of school, and many stresses, this past week hasn’t been easy. I will truly be glad for this school to end. I have indeed learned what NOT to do! I trust God has led me here and continues to teach me more about Him—and to depend on Him completely. Thanks for praying for me (and Jessica) over these next two weeks—for health, patience, and sanity (with the staff more than with the kids—sadly)! Please keep in touch.

June 12: The prodigal boy came home today—brought by police. He was found staying in a hotel, they called the police when they heard the news report about him via radio. Since he came home, the tension has left and everyone is breathing easier. I played with the kids and had a more enjoyable afternoon. My stomach stopped hurting, and my headache diminished (it never completely goes away—the altitude really bothers me). I finished an interesting and sad book about street kids in Brasil called Asphalt Angels. It was a beautiful day. Several times today, the very staff girl that I prejudged that I would have problems with made jokes with me, talked to me, and included me—amazing! God taught me yet another lesson in listening and seeing deeper than outward appearances.

Tomorrow, June 13, I go to La Vega to the Internet café and to eat out with Jessica. I am tired—it’s once again 9pm and the alarm sounds way too early—at 5am. Goodnight!

I´ll be sending out photos soon.